Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
