You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
