did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
