Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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