In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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