Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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