just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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