TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
