Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
