In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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