you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
