Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
