GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
