Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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