So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
