I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
