when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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