weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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