We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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