girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
