I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
