By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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