Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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