do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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