At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
