hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
