Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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