My hand turned me down
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
