3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
