I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
