Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
you never un-have a 4some
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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