He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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