Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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