Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
