turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
