I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
