Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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