mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
