Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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