You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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