I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
