i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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