My liver just broke up with me...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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