so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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