No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
