i just had sex bonerless
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
