Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
