Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
