We're facebook friends in real life
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
