i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
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Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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