His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
