Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have fence marks all over my body
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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