Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm jealous of your bromance
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
