Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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