I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
