just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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