I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going