my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
