just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?