Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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