So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
