Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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