Soap is not a condiment
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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