every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
