I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
