it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize